5 Reasons Contigo is My New Bestie

Sometimes I treat myself to Amazon shopping binges for no reason. It was an Amazon shopping and wine kind of Friday night, and I decided to buy myself a travel mug. I may be a compulsive shopper, but I’m a savvy one. I was not spending more than 20 bucks on a new mug. Setting my dollar limit, I combed through a list of travel mugs and then I saw it. Contigo. It had, by far, the highest and most customer reviews of all the mugs on the list. So of course I added it to my cart.

A few days later she arrived — in all of her pretentious, overly-complicated glory. She came with two sets of directions. The mug has buttons. More than one. I was so confused at all of this awesomeness. A week later, after me and my new bestie have gotten thoroughly acquainted, I have compiled a list of 5 reasons why my new Contigo mug is the best ish ever!

1. Contigo will keep your tea warm for hours. PSA: If you need your tea to cool, do NOT put it in a Contigo travel mug. That ish will stay hot longer than the wait for the next Frank Ocean album. I’ve waited longer for the season premier of Scandal than I have for my tea to cool in this thing. It’s amazing! And who doesn’t want a little sip of hot tea after lunch? Bam! It’s already only your desk — in the last few sips left over from this morning.
2. Contigo is air tight and won’t spill…like, ever – hence all the bells and whistles. This travel mug came with freaking directions! I have to press two buttons to burn my lips on my eternally hot tea. So unless I purposefully will the tea out of this thing, it’s not going anywhere. This mug is so confusingly bad ass! It took me 38 minutes to figure out how to use this thing. I had to call a friend for help. Nice! Complicated — just like me. I like you Contigo mug.
3. My new Contigo mug is so damn gorgeous she’s allowed to hang with me and my hot girlfriends. I sweater gawd she’s my new bestie. Curvaceous, sexy, sleek, and wearing all of the appropriate colors for the season. I like being seen with her in public, and sometimes we take bestie selfies.
4. NYC morning commutes can be emotionally taxing. I have murderous thoughts, while riding the train to work, that surely have secured me a ticket to Hades. But my new Contigo mug filled with piping hot tea and my favorite podcast has saved some lives. Loud happy people in the morning are no longer in danger of my murderous morning rage. I’ve got my earbuds and my new bestie. All is right with the world. Good damn morning, y’all.
5. My mug is cooler than yours. She’s hip, gorgeous, complicated, child proof, and loyal. She will maintain the integrity of my English Breakfast tea (with milk, not lemon – don’t get it twisted) without hesitation or complaint. I pretend like I’m a down chick, but I’m really a bougie hipster who spent my college days in the valley. So these are the things I crave! Contigo mug gets me.