July 31, 2021
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Hot! Breaking up Is Hard to Do Without These Three Breakup Essentials

They say that breaking up is hard to do. And they are absolutely correct. There are good reasons it has to be that way. But knowing those reasons doesn’t really make you feel any better.

  1. Humans are social creatures. We crave intimacy. And it hurts to lose it.
  2. Breaking up often entails relocating.
  3. It can be difficult to separate physical belongings and digital services.
  4. Who gets the dog?
  5. Friendships with your social circle as a couple get weird when you are no longer a couple.

If you have ever had a serious breakup, you can easily add to the list of why it takes such a toll. If breaking up was easy, you were not emotionally involved enough. The pain of the breakup may not even be the worst of it. The time it takes to get over a breakup can be crushing. You sleepwalk through your life missing out on joy. No set of tips will make that pain not happen. But these suggestions can reduce the time it takes to get over it:

Reward Yourself

Some people never recover from a hard breakup. You are a survivor. You will continue to survive. Appreciate that fact and celebrate the fact that you are going to be okay. Treat yourself to something nice like antique brooches, hundred year old ear rings, or any other piece of antique jewelry that has survived, just like you.

Symbols are important. A symbol of triumph tells the world that you are stronger than they thought. You are fierce. You are proud. And you can’t be broken by a broken heart. Find your symbol and wear it as a badge of pride. It is hard to be sad and proud at the same time. Choose pride.

Give Yourself a Makeover

To survive a bad breakup, you have to find ways to love yourself even if you are convinced that it was all your fault. The two of you might have just been incompatible from the start. It is not your fault that you are who you are.

This is the perfect time to get that makeover you have been thinking about. Go for that new hairstyle your partner wouldn’t have approved of. Add a bundle to your wardrobe and change up your look. That is a symbol to yourself that you are a new person, your own person. Keeping everything the same makes you look and feel like someone else’s ex. That is not what you want to be. You want to be your own person. It’s time to look the part.

If the breakup was particularly ugly and damaging, you might want to change more than your look. You might also want to change your phone number and make a clean break from everything to do with that toxic relationship. If you live in an apartment, move. Some relationships are more than toxic; they’re dangerous. Don’t be afraid to get a restraining order. Always put your safety first.

Take Time to Figure out Who You Are

Don’t make the mistake of rushing into yet another relationship to fill the void. The void you feel is not a lack of relationship. It is the lack of self-knowledge. Before you move into another relationship, take the time to have a meaningful relationship with yourself. Get to know exactly who you are and what you want out of life.

Some people try to figure out who they are in the context of a relationship. But if you don’t know who you are, you don’t know what you have to offer. A rebound relationship is usually not the answer. Taking extra time to figure things out is not a sign of fear and weakness. It is a power move. Don’t throw that power of independence away lightly.

No, none of this will change the fact that breaking up is really, really hard. But it is also really, really natural, even necessary. Few people have lasting relationships on the first try. So when your breakup comes, reward yourself for surviving. Give yourself that makeover you always wanted. And take the time to figure out exactly who you are and what you want out of life. 

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